The first half of the first Pokemon season is on Netflix.
Boyfriend snuck up behind me and grabbed me and yelled and scared me that I actually legitimately screamed and then started crying.
I don’t like being scared as a prank.
Well that perfect therapist I found near me doesn’t accept my insurance.
Buuut, I decided the other day that I’m not going to finish up my women studies class this quarter because it’s causing me too much stress and grief and anxiety. It’ll hardly affect my GPA, I calculated it. Though I do feel extremely guilty because I love women studies and that professor is the only one I’ve ever actually liked.
But making that decision took a huge weight off of my shoulders and I actually felt optimistic the rest of the weekend. Sooooo, yeah.
Ultimate choosing mental health over other things decision for me.
Help, can’t sleep again.
In the living room about to eat some warm food to try to make me sleepy and re-read The Last Unicorn so I can break in my signed copy.
Well, I watched an episode of Scrubs, had a Klondike bar (which I kinda had to talk myself into doing ‘cause when I’m hungry, I don’t want ice cream or candy, I want something of substance), and was thoroughly confused when the clock skipped from 1 something to 3 something, thinking I had somehow miraculously killed a ton of time, before realizing it was daylight savings. xP
The boyfriend should be waking up soon so maybe I’ll have an easier time sleeping when he leaves.
Can’t sleep and boyfriend has to be up at four in the morning for work. So I’m in the living room, hungry, but unable to make anything ‘cause it would be too loud. Had to deal with a go gurt.
The one night I feel like pre-sleep sex too. xP
Like, I’m kind of tired but my mind was racing and I couldn’t get comfortable, and just kept tossing and turning, and I didn’t want to ruin what little sleep he’d be getting.
Ugh. I want some warm food, a full tummy, an orgasm, and some sleep.
Ohhhh! Maybe! Yeah, I don’t talk to anyone in my classes ever. I’m always too shy/anxious.
Feel free to come off anon if you want and we could totally be fat babe allies of Western together! ♥
Last night started out fun but turned to awful.
My friend and I decided to have a girl’s night because we’ve both had shitty weeks. It was fun at first. We bought snacks at the store, went to her place, I played with their cat, we started drinking at a normal pace and watching Timer, but then she wasn’t feeling anything yet after two shots, of course and she wanted to drink faster. I always somehow let peer pressure get the best of me when I’m with her because she never thinks I’m drunk enough (and I haven’t gotten drunk the last three or so times we’ve hung out).
But it was still nice for a while. We were having good talks and I was telling her things I’ve only told Tumblr before and it felt nice to tell them to her and we were bonding and she said again how I was her true best friend.
But then she started thinking about her ex-best friend that she hasn’t talked to in about a year and so she called her up at like ten at night and they started talking and eventually cried because they had grown apart and stuff and it’s really selfish of me, but I felt shitty because she is really the only friend I have up here and we hardly even see each other very often. Once every month maybe it feels like.
And she has so many more friends than I do up here ‘cause she’s made friends through her classes and work. And almost every time I’m with her she says that I’m her best friend and she feels so close to me and stuff, but then if we go out downtown with some of her friends or something she says the same thing to her other friends. And she has more girls nights and other fun times with her other friends than with me.
So I was buzzed and feeling shitty right after that call so I went into the bathroom and laid down on the floor and just started crying hardcore. And then the alcohol started to kick in and I got super dizzy and I couldn’t even concentrate on anything so I was just there on the floor drunk and crying and realizing how isolated I’ve become up here. It was the climax end to the most depressed/anxiety ridden week.
Plus I ended up throwing up, adding up to only the second time I’ve ever done that while drinking.
And I didn’t tell her why I was crying either (she came in to the bathroom at one point to help me) so she probably just thought I was being super lame and checking out early for girl’s night. But I just couldn’t tell her why I was so hurt because it just feels so selfish to be upset by something like that.